Attachment Disorder

I have worked with a number of years with children with attachment disorder (CWAD).   What is their need to be in control about?   That is one of the symptoms of Attachment Disorder and it is a major one that gets in the way of being a part of a family.   I have come to believe that children that have been abandoned and developed attachment disorder have to stay in control of their own life as they feel they will die if they are NOT in control of their own life.   Well, imagine an infant and/or a fetus who is not taking care of, nurtured, fed, changed, held.   Well, if they are going to survive they need to stay in control of their own life and being.   No one else took care of them.   From that perspective isn’t it easy to understand why they need to stay in control.   A matter of life or death for them.   The need to be in control for CWAD can show up as a refusal to cooperate with anything they are told to do, they will do it their way....

Danger! What is attachment disorder?  Well, that requires a subjective answer, but I will write more from my perspective of trying to help people who have adopted or taken in children who have children who exhibit attachment issues behaviorally, affecting their families and those around them.  I am speaking about children who are on the more serious end of the continuum, who exhibit behaviors because of their attachment disorder issues.  One example may be that of children who have an excessive need to be in control, and because of that need, they do many things to stay in control, not trusting parents, not trusting parents to take care of them because of that primary abandonment.  Because of this behavior, they do not love, nor let themselves be loved.  Another brief example would be the same children who would never ask for help or anything they might need, as that would give the parents power.  They will act out to get needs met vs. asking for help....

I checked out the stats on my blog and was blown away when I saw that there are visitors from all over the world.  The good news is that there is an awareness of Attachment Disorder all over the world.  How much so, I do not know.  I have a friend who lives in France and is a therapist, but she says they are just glad to be addressing the ADHD issue, while here, we are seeing many more psychological issues with children, those adopted internationally and locally within the states.  Again, even as in the states, people do not want to see Attachment Disorder, or they want to call it something else like "conduct disorder" or oppositional defiance disorder, among other things.  But then I say, what's at the source of that diagnosis - where does the behavior come from.  When I study the abandonment issues, and understanding attachment and early child development, the theories behind how attachment disorder develops, and how children's brains and personalities de...

As I start to write this, I realize I haven't written in a while. I have done other blogs but this one as gone by the side. My energy in attachment disorder therapy has waned somewhat. My clientele in this area is down as I have quit working with the state of Illinois post-adoption clients as they seem not to be paying me. I donated many hours at this point only to have the state decide not to pay me, much to the disservice of the families and children they have placed in families for adoption. I'm guessing services have been cut everywhere, every state. I've worked with families who have the breadwinner lose their jobs, had insurance cut, wages cut, etc. Meanwhile they have to live with kids who are sometimes impossible to live with. I know I get frustrated with the media, but I'm sure the families do even more so, because the perspective is not taking into account the actual behavior of these children, and how it impacts families. I remember when the woman put her ado...