Attachment Disorder

One of the questions I ask clients is "Do you think there is some level of conscience to connect with inside the child?" They can often tell me. I trust parental instincts and their gut about what is going on - I do not just consider myself the expert - what do the parents believe to be true and I help them understand and look through new lenses to understand behavior and also to validate their parental experience. They are often being judged and considered wrong by friends and family. Some symptoms include: superficially engaging and charming; poor eye contact; lack of cause and effect thinking; absence of guilt and no remorse; chronic, nonsensical lying; triangulations of adults; refusal to answer simple questions; false allegations of abuse; and learning lags . I will continue with more in my next blog. One of the tasks is to learn to discern what the symptoms mean, as there are many overlapping diagnoses. I often see the children with bipolar disorder, pervasive developme

When I work with families with adopted children in them and they have special behaviors, I always work with the whole family - parents are included as I offer advice, etc. to them about other parenting techniques that make with with RAD behaviors. I will work with the child individually sometimes, and more often with the child while parents are in the room. I feel that the family must stabilize - often when families have found me and the services, they are at the "end of the rope" and cannot take much more. Our first session is usually encouraging to them, as now they have found someone who understands - someone who "gets it" and that in itself is exciting and energizing - I do not think they are the bad parents, but perhaps the child has some problems. Peace and Joy Chris

I have clients that never cease to amaze me. I am amazed at how different everyone is, yet how similar they are. I can tell many parents a great deal about their children without meeting them, yet I have many questions to ask, and the answers are often different. As a child approaches 10 or 11, I begin to point out that they are really hurting themselves and it is less about hurting "mom" than it is about hurting themselves - they are losing their childhood and staying miserable. I have seen many successes - children developing empathy - children stabilizing - families stabilizing. I always wish there was more I could do. Chris

there's always more to add on this subject. It's effects can be devastating to families. Friends are lost, extended family members, don't support the family on occasion, all because people cannot believe the parents about the child - how could a child do some of those behaviors, and why are they such a problem. Just ignore them, they will quit. Others do not realize the underlying motives for some of these behaviors and when someone lives with them and sees their intentions, it is different then children WITHOUT attachment disorder. Parents often cannot or won't tell others, because they are judged and/or not believed and feel stupid. As a therapist, I understand, because I can tell right away when someone doesn't really get it - including psychiatric hospitals, psychiatrists, psychologists, other therapists, etc. - treat them like the other children, love them enough, they will be okay. But that is NOT the case. website listing: www.theattachmentgroup.or

Attachment disorder is a disorder that results from abandonment of an infant - in utero or the first 2 years of life. Families can be devastated by this disorder as it affects one of the children. Families feel alienated and misunderstood by others, as others cannot believe a child can exhibit such behaviors. In a future blog, I will discuss more symptoms and behaviors of the children. Children often experience multiple diagnoses when they have been adopted from other countries, orphanages, and/or within the child welfare system of the U.S. Some of these difficulties include Fetal Alcohol Effects or Syndrome, Developmental Delays, Bipolar Disorder, and ADHD, to name a few. I am a big believer in the genetic component and birth parent problems are often passed on to the children. More later!! Please feel free to add.