Attachment Disorder

The Attachment Disorder Dilemma Attachment Disorder Updates Hi - just a quick comment to let you know I'm out here, trying to offer support when I can.  The news has brought news of relevance to parents of children with RAD - as I lovingly term them, CWAD.  Children with attachment disorder.  Anyway, I had a mom say to me after the awful Newtown news, that she could relate to being the mother of that young man that was so "sick."  I realize that is true.  It was awful to believe that someone has that ability, but some of you parents - P-CWAD - have seen those moments in your children. The second news segment that just happened is about Russia banning adoptions to the US.  As another person said, that's probably good news for some of the parents, because sometimes the children from Russia have many, many issues.  But there are those children that provide a great deal of joy.  And there are parents who are currently waiting for some of those children but now mu

Hi - so I'm still working and I haven't seen a lot of changes in the mental health environment.  I don't like it.  A lot of it is due to the economy - perhaps things will improve in the future.  I also live in the midwest and that area is not recovering quickly, and Illinois is broke, so... My heart goes out to the many families struggling with these difficult children but that aren't getting a lot of help.  I am available for services but families having money to pay for them is a problem, and DCFS seems to claim they cannot pay. I am working on youtube videos and a  book which may help out there.  Perhaps there will be other ways to get services out there.  I am also available for online counseling services, phone counseling, etc.  There are other ways.  You can also email me at  appell4@gmail.com if you have questions and my phone is 815-398-8422. And my website is here . 

The economy sure has an impact on the families that have adopted children with attachment disorder.  The services are more difficult to get and finances and promises that were made when children were adopted are no longer being kept.  "They are your problem now" seems to be the demeanor.  I am sorry to see people in power act the way they are.  It seems I have provided a great deal of service because of my ethics and would probably do so again.  I wish more people felt that way.  Check out my website. So I want you to know you aren't alone out there, that there are those of us who care.  Unfortunately, free services are hard to come by, and maintain.  1.There is federal money in some adoption preservation programs, so you might want to look for them in your area - those are free.  2. For those of you with the medical card for the children, I'm sorry to say that there is not much specific to attachment disorder.  Your only options are the area community health cent

How is the media about attachment disorder lately?  I really don't know even though I do therapy.  When I worked in child welfare the talk was much greater, but I am now in schools and never hear about it.  I believe part of it is the economy.  Families are being abandoned and having to deal with the issue on their own as there are not many resources available anymore.  I received a perfect email today from someone really struggling and they had tried many available resources but they did not work with true RAD kids - actually i prefer CWAD - child with attachment disorder.  So many options are a waste of time and very frustrating to parents, giving the CWAD even more power. I feel very bad for families when this happens as it is so much wasted time, but more than that, it is energy and emotional health at stake, that of the parents. Life's Outlook Here's my website .

Well, when I looked at my statistics, the blog that got the most attention was the blog post re: CWAD - children with attachment disorder.  The parents of those children are called PCWAD by me.  I will be writing a book re: this issue.  I have worked in this field for a LONG time and have heard from parents that I understand the issue very well.  I have very much enjoyed helping the families that have adopted these children.  Sometimes I can help the children, and sometimes I cannot.  I believe a lot of it is up to them. I don't get many comments from families with attachment disordered children.  I know there are some links, support groups online, etc.  that families have found helpful.  I have found that support has decreased a great deal.  Counseling, etc.  is cut back due to insurance and state support.  Families are left in the position of having to pay for therapy themselves, and cannot often afford this.  Some people have lost their jobs while working together.  Hopefull

I have worked with a number of years with children with attachment disorder (CWAD).   What is their need to be in control about?   That is one of the symptoms of Attachment Disorder and it is a major one that gets in the way of being a part of a family.   I have come to believe that children that have been abandoned and developed attachment disorder have to stay in control of their own life as they feel they will die if they are NOT in control of their own life.   Well, imagine an infant and/or a fetus who is not taking care of, nurtured, fed, changed, held.   Well, if they are going to survive they need to stay in control of their own life and being.   No one else took care of them.   From that perspective isn’t it easy to understand why they need to stay in control.   A matter of life or death for them.   The need to be in control for CWAD can show up as a refusal to cooperate with anything they are told to do, they will do it their way.   The child will refuse to ask for any help

Danger! What is attachment disorder?  Well, that requires a subjective answer, but I will write more from my perspective of trying to help people who have adopted or taken in children who have children who exhibit attachment issues behaviorally, affecting their families and those around them.  I am speaking about children who are on the more serious end of the continuum, who exhibit behaviors because of their attachment disorder issues.  One example may be that of children who have an excessive need to be in control, and because of that need, they do many things to stay in control, not trusting parents, not trusting parents to take care of them because of that primary abandonment.  Because of this behavior, they do not love, nor let themselves be loved.  Another brief example would be the same children who would never ask for help or anything they might need, as that would give the parents power.  They will act out to get needs met vs. asking for help.  One of the impossible things

I checked out the stats on my blog and was blown away when I saw that there are visitors from all over the world.  The good news is that there is an awareness of Attachment Disorder all over the world.  How much so, I do not know.  I have a friend who lives in France and is a therapist, but she says they are just glad to be addressing the ADHD issue, while here, we are seeing many more psychological issues with children, those adopted internationally and locally within the states.  Again, even as in the states, people do not want to see Attachment Disorder, or they want to call it something else like "conduct disorder" or oppositional defiance disorder, among other things.  But then I say, what's at the source of that diagnosis - where does the behavior come from.  When I study the abandonment issues, and understanding attachment and early child development, the theories behind how attachment disorder develops, and how children's brains and personalities develop aroun

As I start to write this, I realize I haven't written in a while. I have done other blogs but this one as gone by the side. My energy in attachment disorder therapy has waned somewhat. My clientele in this area is down as I have quit working with the state of Illinois post-adoption clients as they seem not to be paying me. I donated many hours at this point only to have the state decide not to pay me, much to the disservice of the families and children they have placed in families for adoption. I'm guessing services have been cut everywhere, every state. I've worked with families who have the breadwinner lose their jobs, had insurance cut, wages cut, etc. Meanwhile they have to live with kids who are sometimes impossible to live with. I know I get frustrated with the media, but I'm sure the families do even more so, because the perspective is not taking into account the actual behavior of these children, and how it impacts families. I remember when the woman put her ado