Attachment Disorder

The economy sure has an impact on the families that have adopted children with attachment disorder.  The services are more difficult to get and finances and promises that were made when children were adopted are no longer being kept.  "They are your problem now" seems to be the demeanor.  I am sorry to see people in power act the way they are.  It seems I have provided a great deal of service because of my ethics and would probably do so again.  I wish more people felt that way.  Check out my website. So I want you to know you aren't alone out there, that there are those of us who care.  Unfortunately, free services are hard to come by, and maintain.  1.There is federal money in some adoption preservation programs, so you might want to look for them in your area - those are free.  2. For those of you with the medical card for the children, I'm sorry to say that there is not much specific to attachment disorder.  Your only options are...

Danger! What is attachment disorder?  Well, that requires a subjective answer, but I will write more from my perspective of trying to help people who have adopted or taken in children who have children who exhibit attachment issues behaviorally, affecting their families and those around them.  I am speaking about children who are on the more serious end of the continuum, who exhibit behaviors because of their attachment disorder issues.  One example may be that of children who have an excessive need to be in control, and because of that need, they do many things to stay in control, not trusting parents, not trusting parents to take care of them because of that primary abandonment.  Because of this behavior, they do not love, nor let themselves be loved.  Another brief example would be the same children who would never ask for help or anything they might need, as that would give the parents power.  They will act out to get needs met vs. asking for help....

I checked out the stats on my blog and was blown away when I saw that there are visitors from all over the world.  The good news is that there is an awareness of Attachment Disorder all over the world.  How much so, I do not know.  I have a friend who lives in France and is a therapist, but she says they are just glad to be addressing the ADHD issue, while here, we are seeing many more psychological issues with children, those adopted internationally and locally within the states.  Again, even as in the states, people do not want to see Attachment Disorder, or they want to call it something else like "conduct disorder" or oppositional defiance disorder, among other things.  But then I say, what's at the source of that diagnosis - where does the behavior come from.  When I study the abandonment issues, and understanding attachment and early child development, the theories behind how attachment disorder develops, and how children's brains and personalities de...

As I start to write this, I realize I haven't written in a while. I have done other blogs but this one as gone by the side. My energy in attachment disorder therapy has waned somewhat. My clientele in this area is down as I have quit working with the state of Illinois post-adoption clients as they seem not to be paying me. I donated many hours at this point only to have the state decide not to pay me, much to the disservice of the families and children they have placed in families for adoption. I'm guessing services have been cut everywhere, every state. I've worked with families who have the breadwinner lose their jobs, had insurance cut, wages cut, etc. Meanwhile they have to live with kids who are sometimes impossible to live with. I know I get frustrated with the media, but I'm sure the families do even more so, because the perspective is not taking into account the actual behavior of these children, and how it impacts families. I remember when the woman put her ado...

Remember - CWAD is short for child with attachment disorder. As a therapist I often get involved in some mental gymnastics with my CWAD clients. They are OFTEN very intelligent and yet are very rigid in their thinking. The point of challenging them mentally is to help them see the illogical, irrational thinking they engage in. I certainly don't expect results from this challenging, but I have seen some results. With these children, they often need frequent repetition to re-train their brain. My parent clients are always very frustrated at how these children do not get the message even though they may have heard something 1000 times or more while other children only need instruction a few times. CWAD often enjoy manipulating people and triangulating and these issues often come up in therapy. One of the things I am best at is not being manipulated and this tends to make my child clients very angry. I tend to be pleased when children do not like me as a therapist, because that...

Hi -News from the Office - I work in Illinois with many foster/adoptive families. Well, things aren't looking so good right now for those families. The state of Illinois, as with many other states, is in dire financial straits. Well, it seems they are willing to play games with the children and families that have adopted these special children with many difficult needs. I do not believe it is the state department dispensing of the children's needs, but the politicians deciding it is not their problem - they are more invested in political battles. I am not sure what these families will do, also at a time when insurance companies are more restrictive, when jobs are being lost, and money is slim - they will be left on their own with the disturbed children they care for. I am anxious to see what happens. Again, it would be my deepest wish that children would not be born into families that do not have the love, desire, and or capacity to take care of them - that is the true cr...

So, the issue of attachment disorder never goes away, does it? I have slowed down quite a bit in my private practice because of my disorganized multi-tasking. But clients continue to find me without advertising or pursuing clients. One of the most common ways is to find websites that list therapists in the different states. I also have testified in court recently. The legal system and attachment disorder is such a scary combination. I have begun work on my cd's and when school is out in 2 weeks, I expect a number of materials to emerge, as I have been working on them in my head for years. I am now chomping at the bit to get things going. Don't you like my cute colloquialisms in the blog? I have found myself using humor a lot lately. Again, some advice for parents - DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY - IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. IT IS THEIR PROBLEM BUT THEY WANT TO MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM. Paste this on your refrigerator!! Please feel free to respond to my blog and let me know what yo...

I have seen a number of families helping each other out. I think those P-cwad and C-cwad ) (parents and caregivers of children with attachment disorder) can be very supportive to each other as you all share common experiences and one of the best supports is talking to others who live through it or are living with it, and also those who have seen improvements. I also have had several parents who have been willing to provide some respite for others. I only recommend the respite if I think the respite caregiver will follow a structured, tight childcare. NONE of my P-cwad and C-cwad have ever wanted the child to go away and come home worse!! Makes things worse at home and child then feels superior. Many things in the cwad realm are mysteries - I often say I don't know why and, again, we could go crazy trying to get in the minds of these children and trying to understand them with our minds. Sometimes it is best to let go, shrug your shoulders, say it "just is" but discipline ...

June 25 and here i am. It has been a busy time. This year I have been involved with a number of court cases this year. The need continues. I am hoping to provide services in different ways that I can reach more people, parents, professionals, etc. Parents continue to appreciate someone who understands, believes, offers some guidance, etc. I believe there is a difference in therapists who "say they understand attachment issues" and those who "truly understand attachment disorder behaviors." There are the shy, withdrawn people with attachment "fears" but the children I work with are those who have internalized many negative behaviors which push family members away, especially Mom. And these behaviors do not respond to more love and kindness. It calls for an alternative way of being and parenting. So many parents - P-CWAD - are so frustrated and lost because nothing is working, and because no one understands what they are doing and why they are ...

Attachment disorder is a disorder that results from abandonment of an infant - in utero or the first 2 years of life. Families can be devastated by this disorder as it affects one of the children. Families feel alienated and misunderstood by others, as others cannot believe a child can exhibit such behaviors. In a future blog, I will discuss more symptoms and behaviors of the children. Children often experience multiple diagnoses when they have been adopted from other countries, orphanages, and/or within the child welfare system of the U.S. Some of these difficulties include Fetal Alcohol Effects or Syndrome, Developmental Delays, Bipolar Disorder, and ADHD, to name a few. I am a big believer in the genetic component and birth parent problems are often passed on to the children. More later!! Please feel free to add.