Attachment Disorder

Attachment Disorder   I have not attended many trainings, and I know there isn’t much training out there. And what’s current? The list of behaviors probably doesn’t change much. What is the connection with ACES - Adverse Childhood Experiences.  I went to a luncheon with a man who was a nationally respected doctor who helped organize, sponsor, collect data from studies. The conclusion was that HOPE - positive experiences can help overcome some of the negative. A perfect example is a little girl who was in a bombing in Syria - she has been exposed to horrific ACEs. But if she is surrounded by loving family, has been transferred to a safe environment, has a positive experience in the refugee camp, then her ACEs will not have as much negative affect on her adult life, including illnesses, etc. The talk did not focus on attachment, behaviors, etc. There were many CASA workers there, and a CASA worker’s job is to work with foster kids and make sure their case gets ...

I have worked with a number of years with children with attachment disorder (CWAD).   What is their need to be in control about?   That is one of the symptoms of Attachment Disorder and it is a major one that gets in the way of being a part of a family.   I have come to believe that children that have been abandoned and developed attachment disorder have to stay in control of their own life as they feel they will die if they are NOT in control of their own life.   Well, imagine an infant and/or a fetus who is not taking care of, nurtured, fed, changed, held.   Well, if they are going to survive they need to stay in control of their own life and being.   No one else took care of them.   From that perspective isn’t it easy to understand why they need to stay in control.   A matter of life or death for them.   The need to be in control for CWAD can show up as a refusal to cooperate with anything they are told to do, they will do it their way....

I checked out the stats on my blog and was blown away when I saw that there are visitors from all over the world.  The good news is that there is an awareness of Attachment Disorder all over the world.  How much so, I do not know.  I have a friend who lives in France and is a therapist, but she says they are just glad to be addressing the ADHD issue, while here, we are seeing many more psychological issues with children, those adopted internationally and locally within the states.  Again, even as in the states, people do not want to see Attachment Disorder, or they want to call it something else like "conduct disorder" or oppositional defiance disorder, among other things.  But then I say, what's at the source of that diagnosis - where does the behavior come from.  When I study the abandonment issues, and understanding attachment and early child development, the theories behind how attachment disorder develops, and how children's brains and personalities de...

As I start to write this, I realize I haven't written in a while. I have done other blogs but this one as gone by the side. My energy in attachment disorder therapy has waned somewhat. My clientele in this area is down as I have quit working with the state of Illinois post-adoption clients as they seem not to be paying me. I donated many hours at this point only to have the state decide not to pay me, much to the disservice of the families and children they have placed in families for adoption. I'm guessing services have been cut everywhere, every state. I've worked with families who have the breadwinner lose their jobs, had insurance cut, wages cut, etc. Meanwhile they have to live with kids who are sometimes impossible to live with. I know I get frustrated with the media, but I'm sure the families do even more so, because the perspective is not taking into account the actual behavior of these children, and how it impacts families. I remember when the woman put her ado...

Remember - CWAD is short for child with attachment disorder. As a therapist I often get involved in some mental gymnastics with my CWAD clients. They are OFTEN very intelligent and yet are very rigid in their thinking. The point of challenging them mentally is to help them see the illogical, irrational thinking they engage in. I certainly don't expect results from this challenging, but I have seen some results. With these children, they often need frequent repetition to re-train their brain. My parent clients are always very frustrated at how these children do not get the message even though they may have heard something 1000 times or more while other children only need instruction a few times. CWAD often enjoy manipulating people and triangulating and these issues often come up in therapy. One of the things I am best at is not being manipulated and this tends to make my child clients very angry. I tend to be pleased when children do not like me as a therapist, because that...

I haven't heard much about what is going on in the world as the therapy world has been very slow due to the economy. Insurance companies are failing to provide reimbursements, the states are cutting their budgets, etc. and people have less money to spend on therapy, even though it is probably more necessary now than ever. I have had a number of families I have seen and then one of the adults lost their job and so they could not see me any more. Since I have been working in schools, the focus is much different. I have previously done trainings for staff in the schools to identify the disorder and that made a huge difference. So, when they identify it, they know something else is called for. From the larger perspective, I have not been involved on the national scene lately, so I do not hear much. There is definitely a great deal more research going on. I saw the story of a young boy - probably not a CWAD - but he grew up in Russia very afraid of his father, begging on the stree...

So school has begun. That always bring up many different dilemmas for parents of children with attachment disorder (p-cwad). Some of those issues: The school thinks the mom is crazy, the mom feels very alienated from the school, the child can be cute and charming in school setting, child manipulates at school and comes home feeling empowered, getting homework done becomes an issue, if child is homeschooled there are issues in that, parents have to struggle to decide what their responsibilities are in their child learning, and there is always the possibility that there will be those DCFS calls when the school hears things from the CWAD that makes them question what is going on at home. So, what are the parents to do? Stay tuned.

So, I'm in the process of developing new products - for me there has been a great deal of education on internet marketing and in that I've learned new ways to do things - efficient, etc. I tried audacity for my audio but had to purchase sony audio to use instead. Tim wasted and frustrating. Hopefully this week. CD session 1 for parents will be out. I have 10 editions of my brief newsletter for follow-up if you sign up on my website. I believe my next training to be submitted will be for professionals and another audio for parents. There is so much need for help to get out there and in these financial times, families do not have as many resources. So, pay close attention and see what's coming next. I also have submitted articles on Ezine Articles online, free for your perusal. Hang in there. Remember, you are not alone. Remember our mission is "More peace and joy in your life" because of what we can offer. Christine Appell-Naff, LCPC www.theattachmentgroup.or...

Hi -News from the Office - I work in Illinois with many foster/adoptive families. Well, things aren't looking so good right now for those families. The state of Illinois, as with many other states, is in dire financial straits. Well, it seems they are willing to play games with the children and families that have adopted these special children with many difficult needs. I do not believe it is the state department dispensing of the children's needs, but the politicians deciding it is not their problem - they are more invested in political battles. I am not sure what these families will do, also at a time when insurance companies are more restrictive, when jobs are being lost, and money is slim - they will be left on their own with the disturbed children they care for. I am anxious to see what happens. Again, it would be my deepest wish that children would not be born into families that do not have the love, desire, and or capacity to take care of them - that is the true cr...

This summer I will be working on a new cd and perhaps other cd's, depending on time available. My first goal, which has been a goal for some time, is to produce a cd for first time sessions with parents who are living with children with attachment disorder. I have seen such joy in families when they have had their first meeting with me. I would like to be able to reach more families and this cd will be out in July, 2009. Please let people know about this opportunity. Again, I can help more families this way and this idea has been sitting there for many years. I am a therapist who has been working in the field for 20 years and feel that this will be an excellent resource for families. Thanks for your support. Christine Appell, LCPC

So, the issue of attachment disorder never goes away, does it? I have slowed down quite a bit in my private practice because of my disorganized multi-tasking. But clients continue to find me without advertising or pursuing clients. One of the most common ways is to find websites that list therapists in the different states. I also have testified in court recently. The legal system and attachment disorder is such a scary combination. I have begun work on my cd's and when school is out in 2 weeks, I expect a number of materials to emerge, as I have been working on them in my head for years. I am now chomping at the bit to get things going. Don't you like my cute colloquialisms in the blog? I have found myself using humor a lot lately. Again, some advice for parents - DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY - IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. IT IS THEIR PROBLEM BUT THEY WANT TO MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM. Paste this on your refrigerator!! Please feel free to respond to my blog and let me know what yo...

Well, I am totally amazed that it has been soooooo long since I have been online. I have another job, but my, 10 months pass quickly. Please bear with me. I have a wonderful foster/adoptive mom who has done some respite for families - she gets it and what a help for families with children with attachment disorder. they are not able to manipulate the situation and go home worse than before. This is a valid fear many families have. This is all I'm writing tonite but I wanted to get started again. Please see my website at TheAttachmentGroup.org.

I have seen a number of families helping each other out. I think those P-cwad and C-cwad ) (parents and caregivers of children with attachment disorder) can be very supportive to each other as you all share common experiences and one of the best supports is talking to others who live through it or are living with it, and also those who have seen improvements. I also have had several parents who have been willing to provide some respite for others. I only recommend the respite if I think the respite caregiver will follow a structured, tight childcare. NONE of my P-cwad and C-cwad have ever wanted the child to go away and come home worse!! Makes things worse at home and child then feels superior. Many things in the cwad realm are mysteries - I often say I don't know why and, again, we could go crazy trying to get in the minds of these children and trying to understand them with our minds. Sometimes it is best to let go, shrug your shoulders, say it "just is" but discipline ...

June 25 and here i am. It has been a busy time. This year I have been involved with a number of court cases this year. The need continues. I am hoping to provide services in different ways that I can reach more people, parents, professionals, etc. Parents continue to appreciate someone who understands, believes, offers some guidance, etc. I believe there is a difference in therapists who "say they understand attachment issues" and those who "truly understand attachment disorder behaviors." There are the shy, withdrawn people with attachment "fears" but the children I work with are those who have internalized many negative behaviors which push family members away, especially Mom. And these behaviors do not respond to more love and kindness. It calls for an alternative way of being and parenting. So many parents - P-CWAD - are so frustrated and lost because nothing is working, and because no one understands what they are doing and why they are ...

1. I recently went to a hearing for a family who had charges filed against them because of their child. 2. I recently spoke to a police detective investigating a family for charges made against them - again, a child with RAD- 3. I recently consulted with juvenile state's attorneys re: a case in court - 4. I recently provided information to an elementary school who has a child they believe to have attachment disorder because of his behavior - **This school knew about the disorder because of a training I did in that district for social workers, psychologists, and other staff - 5. I recently received a new referral who heard about me from a school social worker who also had attended a different training I did for school social workers, etc. - This is all good news!! What if I hadn't been around? This does make me aware that I am accomplishing something, although this disorder leaves quite a wake. We all need to do what we can do. Peace, Chris

I find that I have clients come from everywhere for therapy for attachment disorder and the need is GREAT. I am hoping to provide more trainings through video and audio cd, so more people, such as school people, etc. can access this information and I hope to make that information more applicable to these populations specifically. Truly, I have had people drive 3 hours for my services because it is so important that they have the support of someone who understands and can validate the parents' experiences, especially those of the mother, as her experience is often different than those of the father. As I continue this blog, I hope to provide more information about all this. In Joy, Chris Appell, LCPC

One of the questions I ask clients is "Do you think there is some level of conscience to connect with inside the child?" They can often tell me. I trust parental instincts and their gut about what is going on - I do not just consider myself the expert - what do the parents believe to be true and I help them understand and look through new lenses to understand behavior and also to validate their parental experience. They are often being judged and considered wrong by friends and family. Some symptoms include: superficially engaging and charming; poor eye contact; lack of cause and effect thinking; absence of guilt and no remorse; chronic, nonsensical lying; triangulations of adults; refusal to answer simple questions; false allegations of abuse; and learning lags . I will continue with more in my next blog. One of the tasks is to learn to discern what the symptoms mean, as there are many overlapping diagnoses. I often see the children with bipolar disorder, pervasive developme...

I have clients that never cease to amaze me. I am amazed at how different everyone is, yet how similar they are. I can tell many parents a great deal about their children without meeting them, yet I have many questions to ask, and the answers are often different. As a child approaches 10 or 11, I begin to point out that they are really hurting themselves and it is less about hurting "mom" than it is about hurting themselves - they are losing their childhood and staying miserable. I have seen many successes - children developing empathy - children stabilizing - families stabilizing. I always wish there was more I could do. Chris

Attachment disorder is a disorder that results from abandonment of an infant - in utero or the first 2 years of life. Families can be devastated by this disorder as it affects one of the children. Families feel alienated and misunderstood by others, as others cannot believe a child can exhibit such behaviors. In a future blog, I will discuss more symptoms and behaviors of the children. Children often experience multiple diagnoses when they have been adopted from other countries, orphanages, and/or within the child welfare system of the U.S. Some of these difficulties include Fetal Alcohol Effects or Syndrome, Developmental Delays, Bipolar Disorder, and ADHD, to name a few. I am a big believer in the genetic component and birth parent problems are often passed on to the children. More later!! Please feel free to add.