What Is Attachment Disorder?

Danger!

What is attachment disorder?  Well, that requires a subjective answer, but I will write more from my perspective of trying to help people who have adopted or taken in children who have children who exhibit attachment issues behaviorally, affecting their families and those around them.  I am speaking about children who are on the more serious end of the continuum, who exhibit behaviors because of their attachment disorder issues.  One example may be that of children who have an excessive need to be in control, and because of that need, they do many things to stay in control, not trusting parents, not trusting parents to take care of them because of that primary abandonment.  Because of this behavior, they do not love, nor let themselves be loved.  Another brief example would be the same children who would never ask for help or anything they might need, as that would give the parents power.  They will act out to get needs met vs. asking for help.  One of the impossible things for Mom is that these children will not accept love, nor will they return any love.  One needs to stand in the shoes of these mothers before they know what that feels like.  Much of what the parents suffer is judgment from others - the school, family, friends, because they treat that child differently.  People then assume that child is different because they are treated that way.  But that is not how it works.  The child (cwad) requires different parenting, as they are hardened and require tough love and structure, even at a young age.  I have had clients with children who pee, poop, steal, hurt others, do not know how to eat a meal, cannot go out in public.  Now imagine living with these situations on a daily basis.  If traditional parenting does not work, then you had better try something else!  And that is what many parents do, but they are judged for it.  They lose friends and family.