Inside The Mind of The Child With Attachment Disorder (CWAD)


I have worked with a number of years with children with attachment disorder (CWAD).  What is their need to be in control about?  That is one of the symptoms of Attachment Disorder and it is a major one that gets in the way of being a part of a family.  I have come to believe that children that have been abandoned and developed attachment disorder have to stay in control of their own life as they feel they will die if they are NOT in control of their own life.  Well, imagine an infant and/or a fetus who is not taking care of, nurtured, fed, changed, held.  Well, if they are going to survive they need to stay in control of their own life and being.  No one else took care of them.  From that perspective isn’t it easy to understand why they need to stay in control.  A matter of life or death for them.
 The need to be in control for CWAD can show up as a refusal to cooperate with anything they are told to do, they will do it their way.  The child will refuse to ask for any help because to ask for help is giving parents power to say no and abandon or reject.  They’ve already been through that once.  Oftentimes their behavior does not resemble that of normally-attached children, they do it their way, living their own life. 
Again, remember without the nurturing and bonding of normal development, the child’s synapses is not the same as the developed child who has received all those benefits.  They do not think the same way.  They often do not have cause and effect thinking so being rational with these children does not help anyone. It just drives you crazy.
Chris Appell-Naff
Empower Network
The Attachment Group

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